This was the theme in the shop yesterday. No, folks weren't showing me their belly buttons, gross! It was a day of observing whether people were inner-directed or outer-directed. I will define what I mean by those terms.
In my opinion, people that are inner-directed keep their own counsel, they don't ask for others' opinion much, they aren't ones to ask for advice on a regular basis and they don't ask for directions when lost because they have a GPS (ha!) These people probably meditate regularly, have a strong sense of self and are self-confident. They most likely have a solid understanding of their own spiritual beliefs and can turn to their spirituality for solace when needed.
Outer-directed people do ask for the opinions and advice of others on a regular basis. They refer to some form of mass-media to help create their identity or to understand their place in the world. They prefer what I call "group sports" as opposed to solitary activities. Their identity and self-confidence waver in times of crisis.
These are generalizations and I've done no, nor called upon any, scientific study to come to these conclusions. Just my observation and interaction with people, especially yesterday. Perhaps some of my astrology friends have some explanation for yesterday. So what's my point in all this? I'm pretty sure I have one. Let me check.....
Yep, got it! Being outer-directed sucks. One is constantly drifting in the wind of other people's ideas and opinions and half-baked thoughts. Emotional, mental and any other inner goings-on are transient at best. When the shit hits the fan, these folks are screwed...not the ones to turn to in a crisis. I'm not just hypothesizing here, I was one of the outer-directed in my early adult life and it did suck. I can just hear some of you out there, "Well then Miss Smarty Pants, if being inner-directed is all THAT then how do I get there?" My answer is, "Fuck if I know. Figure it out for yourself." Ok, I'm just being obnoxious. I do have some suggestions for getting from point O to point I.
First, find some kind of quiet time for yourself. If you'd rather peel back your eyelids than 
meditate then find some other quiet activity. Honestly, meditating isn't that hard. If you can carve out 5 minutes from your day and breathe, then you too can meditate. A simple meditation technique goes like this: Sit (not lie down, SIT) someplace quiet for 5 minutes. If you have kids, tell them they'd better be bleeding a lot or on fire if they disturb you. Same goes for other adults in the house. Set a timer or your cell phone for 5 minutes. This way you won't be wondering throughout your meditation if your 5 minutes is up. For 5 minutes, just breathe and be aware of your breathing. Count to 5 (or whatever number is good for you) as you breathe in and then count to 5 (or whatever) as you breathe out. You can breathe in through your nose or mouth, whatever feels comfortable for you. If you notice during your 5 minutes that you start thinking about work or laundry or the Japanese stock market, just return to counting. Thoughts will most likely come into your head. The only time you're going to have complete and total silence in your head for an extended period of time is when you're dead, so I don't recommend making that a goal. It's really that simple, don't complicate it. If you've heard or read other things about meditation, set that aside for now. People usually try to make shit more elaborate and complicated than it needs to be because then they can feel superior. Fuck that. Just sit and breathe for 5 minutes. Do this every day for a month. Notice I didn't say, "Try to do this every day." Fuck that too. As Yoda said, "There is no try. Do or do not." Do your best to make it around the same time every day, the earlier the better. If you wait until the end of the day, your body will be more tired and you might just pass out. After a month you can increase your time if you want to.
meditate then find some other quiet activity. Honestly, meditating isn't that hard. If you can carve out 5 minutes from your day and breathe, then you too can meditate. A simple meditation technique goes like this: Sit (not lie down, SIT) someplace quiet for 5 minutes. If you have kids, tell them they'd better be bleeding a lot or on fire if they disturb you. Same goes for other adults in the house. Set a timer or your cell phone for 5 minutes. This way you won't be wondering throughout your meditation if your 5 minutes is up. For 5 minutes, just breathe and be aware of your breathing. Count to 5 (or whatever number is good for you) as you breathe in and then count to 5 (or whatever) as you breathe out. You can breathe in through your nose or mouth, whatever feels comfortable for you. If you notice during your 5 minutes that you start thinking about work or laundry or the Japanese stock market, just return to counting. Thoughts will most likely come into your head. The only time you're going to have complete and total silence in your head for an extended period of time is when you're dead, so I don't recommend making that a goal. It's really that simple, don't complicate it. If you've heard or read other things about meditation, set that aside for now. People usually try to make shit more elaborate and complicated than it needs to be because then they can feel superior. Fuck that. Just sit and breathe for 5 minutes. Do this every day for a month. Notice I didn't say, "Try to do this every day." Fuck that too. As Yoda said, "There is no try. Do or do not." Do your best to make it around the same time every day, the earlier the better. If you wait until the end of the day, your body will be more tired and you might just pass out. After a month you can increase your time if you want to.
Second, think about what you think. Investigate and examine your beliefs. Inventory what's in your head. Ask yourself if you really believe what you think you do. For example, do all good children go to Heaven? What about all those unbaptized babies in the Australian bush? Is lite beer really less filling? Is fluoride in our drinking water really beneficial (you like how I snuck that in there?) Is having more stuff truly the measure of success? Fuck, I don't know what goes on in your head...make up your own questions. And make up your own answers too. Feel free to do independent research, but remember that just because it's on the Internet or in a book or someone said it doesn't make it true. When mulling over a belief, determine if it feels true for you. Are you comfortable with the idea or does it make you wanna puke? Do muscle testing (look it up) for confirmation. Write down your beliefs and then read them over at a later time. Are you impressed, ashamed, rolling on the floor laughing? The point is to rely on yourself for this. DO NOT go out and ask other people what you believe or should believe. If you do, stop reading this right now and don't come back.Third, surround yourself with supportive people. These would be people that think you are the bomb, you can do no wrong (mostly), love you, trust you and you'd let them watch your kid. These are people who are capable of being honest with you without being shitty, kind without expecting payback, loving without blowing smoke up your ass and who you can laugh with. I'm sure they have many other wonderful qualities but that's all I've got for now. You get the idea. These folks DO NOT criticize openly or in that veiled "it's for your own good" way. They DO NOT take advantage of you (although it's your job not to be a doormat.) They DO NOT belittle you for having beliefs that differ from theirs. Making your own way in this life experience can be challenging enough without some asshole trying to piss in your Cheerios. Don't allow yourself to have these kind of people in your life.
I'm sure that there's all kinds of mad wisdom I could continue to lay on you but I gotta get ready for work. Kittens need feeding and tea cups need a'washin'. Be brilliant today!
LOVE IT, Tavane! #3 is gold ~ thanks for the reminder.
ReplyDelete<3